You Don’t Deserve It

I met up with a friend for lunch the other day and she made a comment that took me back. Back to the place where my stinking thinking about drinking kept me captive.

She said that logically she knows there is no benefit to her drinking. “But I feel like I work hard, and after a long day, I deserve it.” I instantly remembered making the same argument in my drinking days.

Now, sixteen months sober, I know that I didn’t deserve it. Neither does my friend, and neither do you.

You deserve so much better. You deserve to have a healthy body that you don’t pour poison into after a long day. You do work hard and you deserve peaceful rest and rejuvenation–not fitful sleep and dehydration.

You deserve to have a healthy mind that is not held captive by toxic thoughts. Obsessive thoughts that cause you to break promises to yourself and your self-worth to plummet. You deserve to live in a healthy mental space that allows you to thrive instead of just survive.

You deserve a chance to live your best life as the best version of yourself, and you can’t do that while carrying the weight of compulsive behaviors and the panic of feeling powerless to change.

You don’t deserve a drink. You deserve a life you don’t need to escape from.

And the only way you will see what you really deserve is if you stop believing what society and your brain have conditioned you to believe.

It takes time and determination, especially since we live in a world that buys the lie. The lie that normalizes consuming toxic, addictive substances and all the harm it brings with it in the name of celebration or relaxation or reward.

Once you start to see it for what it is and how it is causing destruction instead of pleasure, you will realize you don’t deserve it.

You deserve so much more.


Photo by Masaaki Komori on Unsplash

9 comments

  1. That is so true. I used to think and say that too! I’ve caught myself saying it about junk food too, and I said it about cigarettes not long ago. It’s like we think we’ve earned the right to destroy ourselves. Alcohol’s a subtle enemy though it make everything feel better – until it doesn’t.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Reblogged this on Context & Consequence and commented:
    This post is amazing. So often, we tell ourselves that we ‘deserve’ to engage in behaviours that are ultimately self-destructive. But when we see them for what they are, real transformation can begin. We can and should reframe what we truly ‘deserve’ as the writer of this post beautifully points out.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Collette. Great job on quitting drinking. I admire your strength and the rest of you who have given up dangerous habits or addictions.

    As someone with an addictive personality, I have to be so careful what I do. The lies we tell ourselves are something we need to stop doing to ourselves. It is so easy to get hooked on something and tell ourselves we deserve it or need it. I am a compulsive eater. The lies I tell myself are not helping me any. I can’t break the habit and I have had diabetes for over 20 years. I would rather look the other way then give up my sugary foods. I am overlooking what it is doing to me physically. I have diabetic complications, including diabetic retinopathy which means I can lose my eyesight at any time, no warming. I have to use insulin to live because my body no longer makes its own. Yet I keep telling myself that I deserve to have that sugary dessert all the time. I have no control. I am slowly killing myself. I can admit I have an eating disorder, but I can’t stop it. And I am the only one who can stop it. No one can do it for me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh Tessa, I have so much empathy for you and you situation. You are correct that you are the only one who has the power to change. For a long time I prayed about my situation and felt angry that God wouldn’t take away my obsession with drinking. But I look back and see that I needed to truly be done and stop trying to hold onto it to truly let it go. That’s when he took it and allowed me to break free of the stronghold it had over me. We humans try to fill our wants and desires in so many ways, but I think that nothing truly fills or satisfies us but a deep, intimate connection with God. I pray that you find strength and peace in your journey. ❤️🙏

      Liked by 1 person

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